happy birthday brother

happy birthday Tim i love you and i miss you so much i am happy u are in peace. i wish i could have given or helped u have some of that here on earth but i know there is nothing i could have done u wouldnt let me help you u never wanted to be a burden on me u thot u were but u were u were the light of mine and my childrens lives. you were loved my so many more than u even knew. the things u thot about urself were not real we never thot those things of u i know with your illness u suffered with caused alot of those thots and the things u went thru alot of them were not your fault i wish i would have know so i could help u thru and have protected u more those things no one should ever have to go thru. u wanted to only be happy around me and not talk about the bad things but u didnt realize thats what u needed. i am so proud of u you worked hard to overcome so many things. i understand why u didnt what u did it hurts and i go thru my feelings and just now realized i was angry that u left me but in reality i know u didnt and u did what u had to do i think u were a very brave soul to go thru what u did and try so hard with so many road blocks in your way u still tried. i went thru stress yes but that was only because i loved u and wanted to help u and worried aobut u. u were never a burden no matter what went on u were my brother and i would always be there. I am so thankful for the last few years i had with you i look back at the pictures and feel so blessed to have those memories they are what i hold in my heart. i missed out on alot thru the years with you and missed you so much when u stayed away but i knew why.
i told sara today that it would have been your birthday and u would have been 36 she said it is your bday and u r 36 and we can celebrate your birthday in our heart that little 5 year old was right. i dont know if u see us from heaven or not i hope u do and know how much you were loved.