its been a while

hey brother...
   been putting this off for too long...finally posted some things about you that i wish id have said many many years ago that people should have known back when. its sad we had to lose you to finally understand. I'm so sorry we didn't  take more time....
not really sure where to start i been blocking the pain for a long time thinking I'm fine but knowing I'm not.
i think a lot of how i wish you were still here but then quickly remind myself that you are happy your not.

i didn't see the times in your way you were reaching out... it wasn't as clear as simply asking for help. i don't think you knew how...but looking back i realize in those conversations the last year, where a question or statement  needed to be followed with a more detailed answer or a question i should have asked.
not really sure where to start i been blocking the pain for a long time thinking im fine but knowing im not.
i think alot of how i wish you were still here but then quickly remind myself that you are happy your not.

there are finally changes being made and more awareness of schizophrenia and other mental disabilities abd also how the law enforcement deals with it and treating people right and not like criminals!

who would have thought that a homeless man who had schizophrenia and was beaten to death by police...Kelly Thomas...would be the one to bring about these changes!
you probably already know cuz hes probably up there with you.

were fighting for him which means were fighting for you too!

your earthly birthday is coming up in a few days. i decided long ago your real birthday is the day you went to heavn! becaus its the best one for you!

i miss you every second of everyday. im making it through anyways.


How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid (not afraid)
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me (place for me)
'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away

I love you, you were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you, when He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied

So far away (so far)
And I need you to know
So far away (so far)
And I need you to, need you to know